Things I learned from living in Texas

 

1.       Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. 


2.       ‘Twiced’ is a word.


3.       ‘Fixinto’ is one word.


4.       You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH them.


5.       There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in  TEXAS


6.       There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in  TEXAS , plus a couple no one’s seen before.  


7.       If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.   


8.       People actually grow and eat okra 


9.       There is no such thing as ‘lunch.’ There is only dinner and then supper. 


10.   Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a littletea with our sugar! 


11.   ‘Backwards and forwards’ means I know  everything about you! 


12.   Djeet is actually a phrase meaning ‘Did you eat?’ 


13.   You don’t have to wear a watch because it  doesn’t matter what time it is You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see. 


14.   You measure distance in hours. Like its 2 hours from  DALLAS to TYLER . 


15.   You’ll probably have to switch from ‘heat’ to  ‘A/C’ in the same day. 


16.   ‘Fix’ is a verb. Example: ‘I’m fixing to go to  the store.’ 


17.   You install security lights on your house and  garage and leave both unlocked. 


18.   Yes, Friday night high school foorball is serious football!!


19.   You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car. 


20.   There are only four spices: salt, pepper,  Tabascoand ketchup.   


21.   100 degrees Fahrenheit is ‘a little warm.’ 


22.   We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.  


23.   Going to Walmart is a favorite past time  known as ‘goin’ to Wally-World.’ 


24.   A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good  pinto-bean weather. 


25.   A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola or  pop. . . . it’s a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: ‘What kind a coke you want?’ 


26.   Fried catfish is the other white meat. 


27.   We don’t need no stinking driver’s ed . . .  if our mama says we can drive, we can drive. 


28.   If you understand these jokes please forward  them to your friends from  TEXAS (and those who just wish they were). 


29.   EVERYONE can’t be from TEXAS. You might say it’s a gift from God! 


30.   And the most important thing we learn growing up in  TEXAS is… 
 
IN GOD WE TRUST


 

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